The postpartum phase is a time of flux. So much has changed in such a short period of time. It’s normal not to want to be touched by your partner – you’re being groped and grabbed throughout the day by tiny super cute but maybe a bit sticky hands. Perhaps there is spit up on your shirt… or other… fluids It makes TOTAL sense that you aren’t “in the mood” when you get a moment of rest.
Research confirms a link between maternal emotional well-being and physical health and recovery in the postnatal period (Brown et al, 2000).
Close to 50% of women will report “sexual dysfunction” postpartum (Abdool et al, 2009).
Sexual Dysfunction is classified as “disorders of sexual desire, arousal, orgasm and pain.” (Abdool et al, 2009)
The good news? – most dysfunction will resolve within the first 3-12 months postpartum (Elliot et al, 1985). But even if it doesn’t, or if you’d like to help the process along, here are a few things you can try:
1. Schedule Intimacy – putting intimacy into the calendar so that you are your partner make it a priority will help you actually get that time together. Intimacy doesn’t have to be sex – it could be watching TV on the couch together, holding hands on a walk. There is NO SHAME in doing this. For many people, if you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen.
2. Take some “me time” before your (scheduled) intimacy. It can be hard to switch out of mommy mode. Taking a shower, stretching or reading a book on your own might help you to *feel yourself* again
3. Do whatever it is you need to do to feel good in that amazing body or yours. If you need to buy new jeans, turn the lights off to get busy, wear a slip, dye your hair..whatever! If it makes you feel more like yourself and helps build your confidence, do it!
4. See a trusted health care provider. There are SO many amazing providers out there that specialize in sexual health & relationships. If you ever have something that you’d like to address, talk to your trusted health care provider to get assistance or to be referred. If you don’t know who to talk to, ask me! I can see who I can find to give you assistance!
Maternix provides online education and exercise courses for pregnant and postpartum women to help women recovery better postpartum and prevent common postpartum injuries.
Learn more and see upcoming course dates at:
Tara is a Physiotherapist specializing in women’s health and pelvic floor rehab. She is passionate about helping women understand the changes their bodies go through during pregnancy and how they can rehabilitate more effectively postpartum.